Staying Strong

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7

I know I should be the poster child for being strong for others since I have had to handle sibling having cancer twice, friend dying of the flu (today was her birthday btw), my aunt dying of cancer, helping friends with boy drama, family drama, and seemingly always being everyone's go to girl with their problems.
Not that I'm complaining, I'm glad people feel comfortable to come to me with their problems and God has a plan and I'm willing to follow. But I just find it so hard to be strong sometimes.

My friend, who is like my little sister, just told me she has Cronh's disease. This girl is just 14 and she has a disease that will be with her forever.

I'm not taking it well, after I confrimed with my mom what this was I started to cry. I didn't tell my friend this however. I just told her that it was terrible and I was sorry and that my papa has the same thing while my mom held me like I was five.

I'm 18, shouldn't I be able to put on a strong face and be strong for her?

She had a little freak out on me which is totally fine, she needed to get off her chest. Once she finished I told her:
"God has plan for this. I can't see it. You can't see it. No one can but He has a plan. He is in control of this situation. He has His hands on you and He will use this. Why? Because He loves you. Because you are His daughter. He will use this for something fantastic, I promise."

I totally believe that with all my heart. I talked with her a little longer then I told my best friend (the guy best friend I have mentioned in other posts) and he is praying for her as well but then he asked me how I was doing. I broke down. I said:
"She is only 14. She's 14 and she has a disease that will be with her forever. How do you always stay so strong for people? I thought I would have it down by now, but this?"
He then went on asking if he needed to stay up later and talk with me, me feeling totally embarrassed for having yet another mental breakdown on him told him it was fine, I was fine, everything was fine. He told me this, and it totally turned my world around and I'll probably remember it forever:

"Staying strong for people doesn't mean not showing or having any emotion. It's just being supportive. Don't get being supportive and being emotionless confused."

That's when I realized I had somehow convinced myself doing both at the same time for as long as I could remember was a good idea. I now see how wrong I was. Putting on a brave face in public and being supportive and then crying as soon as you are alone isn't how you deal with this stuff. You be there for the person, no matter what. You be supportive. You be the shoulder to cry on. But you need to get in your head that it is okay to be upset about it because this crap is upsetting and showing your emotions is okay.

My friend is going to be okay, I am going to be there for her but I will not be a cold emotionless robot, I will be a supportive best friend who will do everything I can for her.

"My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart he is mine forever." Psalms 73:26